The Uncle Albert Collection

A collection of humorous tales about Uncle Albert and his Friends:

Painted in Acrylic on wood panels, the theme of the collection is based on the endearing antics of 'Uncle Albert', a fictitious older gentleman. Is he perhaps like a family member or somebody you know .......

A series of twenty is shown here, along with a short introduction to Uncle Albert.

'Uncle Albert is getting on a bit but still feels young at heart with an urge to enjoy his second childhood.   He has several lady friends, Dotty, Brenda and Amanda, who all think he is charming on a good day but otherwise a bit grumpy.   They sometimes go with him to the cinema or the coast or visit the Plaza if they’ve got a dance on.   They like to keep an eye on him.   Sometimes, to escape for some peace and quiet, he will visit his allotment which boasts a shed almost as old as him.   He grows dahlias for Dotty, a very sporty widow indeed, who lives at 33 Corporation Avenue, and who cooks a Sunday roast that just melts in your mouth.  A fair exchange Albert always thinks.    Uncle Albert also grows tomatoes and has become well known for his ‘Golden Burst’ tomatoes which he grows with the aid of his secret formula, a most evil smelling sludge like liquid, that “makes them tommies the sweetest you’ll ever taste”.       He has two dogs who idolise him and slurpingly help clear his plate at mealtimes.   They help keep his old war wounds warm during the winter evenings, something he never talks about, unless of course you’re asking.    He’s good at crosswords, likes dog racing, and swears by Tesco’s red wine.   All in all he quite likes his quiet life, that is until the urge to do something new and exciting takes over...... then old Uncle Albert becomes a completely different animal……'


To enlarge an individual image just click on it.


Uncle Albert shows his
romantic streak to Dotty
Uncle Albert shows the
judge who's the boss

Uncle Albert in the office
Uncle Albert and Amanda
on a day trip to Worthing

Uncle Albert and Amanda
see off the opposition
Uncle Albert's quickstep wows
Amanda at the Plaza
"Don't you bring that crab
near me!" screams Brenda
running from the beach
Uncle Albert and the girls meet
at the 'Butchers Arms' for a
quick drink before the Match
Uncle Albert and Brenda
sit sipping countless cocktails
at the 'Mango-Calypso Bar'
Uncle Albert paddles while
Brenda and Amanda chat
about Troy the dishy assistant who
works in the Regal Coffee Shop

Amanda tries out her new
honeysuckle and rose soap
on Uncle Albert

Dotty and Amanda don't
know much about football but
they like watching the local team
with Uncle Albert
Brenda and Uncle Albert
speed along to 'The Posh Tea Shop'
for cream teas
"I never did like kite flying",
moans Uncle Albert, as he
tries to untangle himself
Uncle Albert can't believe
he's won the Silver Cup for
'Best Leeks in Show'
Brenda changes a tyre
while Uncle Albert
checks out his shares
Dotty hangs on for dear life
as Uncle Albert shows off
his bright orange scooter

'Flaming June' has only won
one race, and that was because
the other pigeon developed
a nasty cough in mid air
and was forced to retire
Uncle Albert misses the ball
which bounces off Spike's head
The local twitchers search for
the elusive 'Blazing Firecrest'

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